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The Heart-Breaking Truth of Elderly People Ending up in Old Age Homes
SHAMEFUL AND INHUMANE.I blurt these two words each time I come across the heartbreaking news of children abandoning their parents in old-age homes. It’s hard to believe this is becoming so common. But it is. And it’s no longer happening quietly behind closed doors.
Some don’t even have the guts to admit their parents to old age homes themselves. They leave them at streets, temples, far-away places, hospital gates, etc. hoping someone else will take responsibility. Just last week, 150 seniors were abandoned at Belagavi Institute of Medical Sciences (BIMS) in Karnataka. Some were too weak to speak. Some didn’t even know where they were. And this is only one example. Cases like this keep rising across the country, breaking our hearts and testing our conscience.
These stories force us to ask difficult questions about love, duty, and humanity. How did we get here? Why do some children turn their backs? What happens to the seniors left behind? Are old age homes the safe place they’re meant to be? How does loneliness affect those who once gave us everything? Let’s look closer and try to understand the truth.
Why Families Abandon Seniors in Old Age Homes?
Families leave seniors in old age homes for many reasons, often unseen or misunderstood. These decisions reflect complex issues that reveal changing family dynamics and social pressures. Let’s explore what really drives this unpleasant reality.
Financial and Caregiving Burdens on Families
Many families face financial problems when caring for elderly parents. Medical bills, medicines, and daily needs can quickly add up, making it hard to manage. Along with money, time is a big challenge. Working adults often struggle to find enough hours in the day to care for seniors, especially if they have jobs and children to look after.
Sometimes, one family member ends up doing almost everything, from doctor visits to daily care. This can feel overwhelming and exhausting. Some truly try but feel helpless. Others, however, don’t want the responsibility at all. They see their parents as a burden and find excuses to step away. In both cases, seniors are left in old age homes, often not out of care, but convenience.
Family Relationship Breakdown and Emotional Distance
Sometimes, family fights happen over lifestyle changes or daily choices. For example, a son may disagree with his father about how to live or what habits to follow. He might prioritize his wife and children, paying little attention to his aging parents.
Often, sons see their parents as a burden or only as a way to inherit property. Once they secure the property, they may ignore or abandon their parents. Even if parents live with them, emotional distance grows when the son is busy with work or family and doesn’t spend time with them.
This makes parents feel lonely and unwanted. When conflicts and coldness increase, some sons leave their parents in old age homes instead of facing these issues.
Shifting Social and Cultural Attitudes
Earlier, joint families were common, and elders naturally stayed with their children. Taking care of them was easier because responsibilities were shared among many family members. But now, with nuclear families becoming the norm, that support system is gone. One or two people must handle everything: work, kids, and aging parents.
At the same time, social values have changed. Success is now linked to independence, career growth, and modern lifestyles. In some upper-middle-class areas, neighbours may say, “Still living with your parents?” or hint that it looks old-fashioned. These silent judgments can push families to send their parents to old age homes, not because they can’t manage, but to fit in.
Challenges and Stigma Around Aging
Health problems and unfair judgments make life very hard for many seniors. They may have chronic pain, memory loss, or trouble walking. This can lead to anxiety and sadness when they can’t do things on their own. Society often treats older people as weak or useless. This stigma makes families feel embarrassed and want to keep their elders hidden.
A recent case in Karnataka shows how bad it can get. A son took his mother to the hospital for surgery and then disappeared. When the staff called him, he denied that she was his mother. The hospital looked after her and finally moved her into an old-age home. Stories like this reveal how health challenges and social stigma push seniors into places they never chose.
Emotional Impact on Seniors Living in Old Age Homes
Being away from their families, especially their children, leaves a deep emotional wound. Many wake up each day hoping for a visit or a phone call that never comes. This emotional pain quietly builds over time, affecting both their mind and body.
In fact, studies show that 64.4% of elderly living in old-age homes suffer from mental health issues like depression and anxiety. This number speaks volumes about the emotional toll of abandonment. Some seniors stop talking much. Some lose interest in eating or even getting out of bed.
One elderly man shared that he stares at the gate every evening, hoping his son shows up. Another woman said she prays every day to see her grandchildren one more time.
This sadness doesn't just stay in the heart; it affects their sleep, weakens their health, and slowly breaks their spirit. Even though old age homes try to offer care, they can’t replace the warmth, love, and comfort ofa family’s presence.
How to Support Seniors Living in Old Age Homes?
Seniors in old agehomes deserve steady care, comfort, and dignity. To make sure they live peacefully without struggles, we can step in and support the old age homes in simple but meaningful ways:
- Monetary Donations: Donate money to help cover daily expenses, staff salaries, or urgent medical needs. Offering medical supplies like medicines, walkers, or wheelchairs helps seniors manage health issues without delay.
- Ration and Food: Providing nutritious food ensures they don’t go hungry and get the strength their bodies need.
- Clothes and Bedding: Sharing clothes, blankets, and bedsheets keeps them warm, clean, and comfortable, especially during seasonal changes.
- Hygiene Essentials: Supplying hygiene items like soap, adult diapers, toothpaste, etc., supports their cleanliness and health.
- Volunteer Visits: Visiting as a volunteer can brighten their day. Many seniors just want someone to talk to.
- Health Check-ups: Arranging regular health check-ups allows early detection of problems and better treatment.
- Advocacy and Awareness: Talking about senior care and urging others to help spreads awareness and builds a caring community.
Words of Wisdom
No child should ever feel like leaving their parents in an old-age home is the only option. Instead of sending them away, families can find other ways to care for their loved ones, like sharing caregiving duties among siblings or hiring help at home. These choices keep parents close and show them the love and respect they deserve.
Still, not all families can manage this, and many seniors depend on old-age homes for safety and care. These homes often struggle with limited resources for nutritious food, medicines, essentials, and emotional support. Supporting them means giving elders a place where they are truly cared for and valued.
That’s why organizations like Riddhi Siddhi Charitable Trust are so important. At Riddhi Siddhi Charitable Trust, we work closely with several old age homes and run our own Vrudhashram . We provide medical care, nutritious meals, hygiene essentials, and companionship to seniors who need it most. But none of this is possible without caring people who step forward.